Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sister Mary Catherine Tasheika's Hotline for Wayward Husbands
That being said, I am not running Sister Mary Catherine Tasheika's Hotline for weary and (potentially) wayward boyfriends and husbands! Male friends, you are on notice! Yes, you can have platonic female friends. Yes, you can be unhappy and need someone to talk to, but your first step should be the woman you chose...in some cases, over me. Then one of your boys, maybe a Pastor, then your Momma and maybe me. In that exact order.
I'll talk to you as a friend. But please don't think you're going to use a sob story to potentially get some. Smart women know that some men only do this in order to find out the potential for a jump-off situation. Ladies, please tell me you're not falling for the okey doke that easily.
There was a guy I used to "deal" with (dealt = less than a relationship, but more than a one night stand), who called me in April, after JUST getting married in February. He proceeded to tell me how unhappy he was and he thought that he may have made a mistake. And what exactly do you want me to do with that information, Mr. Kim Kardashian? Go talk to a licensed counselor or buy a therapy dog. I have nothing for you in that regard. You chose her, not me. We can't talk about this.
Or, there was the guy, (fans of Sex and the City will understand), that my friends and I always referred to as my "Mr. Big". Over the course of nearly 15 years, we had rocky on/off moments. He made me cry more than he made me smile and ultimately chose someone else to get married to. Which, after I thought about it, and was honest with myself, was a good move for him AND for me. Let him be HER problem.
Despite all that, we stayed in contact and have a genuine (non sexual) friendship. Which was not a secret to anyone including his wife, but I guess she tolerated the friendship because we didn't live in the same town.
Then several months ago, I get a call from a blocked number. Pause. (If experience has taught me anything, it's not to answer the phone after 12 a.m. expecting good news or that a blocked number means me well.) She was calling because of the frequency of the calls from him TO me. Which, pause again... ladies, you should never, ever be calling another woman to confront/fight over a man. EVER. Not a good look in the slightest. Men have their Men Laws and this should be one of our Women Laws. At the very least, you should be calling to compare stories and facts. Her issue clearly was with him, not me. and though not the case in this story, a shady man will win every time when they are able to keep wifey and the jumpoff at odds and not speaking.
At the end of the day, I've come to the conclusion that my hotline is closed. You chose her. Not me. Figure your issue out some other way. I won't help you.